Lost but not lost

 If I told you that I’m depressed will you believe it?

So many uncertainties up here.

Scary that I’m investing funds in someone else and not myself. What if the someone changes? What if the someone turns her back on me?

Don’t they say, human investment is the best capital investment ever? Don’t they say no man is an island?

I am lost but not lost. I want home but I’m scared of returning home as a failure. 

I chose this path but this path isn’t treating me well.

I’m winning but losing.

I’m being celebrated but I’m losing. Hope lost but not lost. 

Away away from the love I want yet close to the love I cherish.

Lost but not lost.

Home 

Seven Years and lost

 My best friend advised me to keep a diary but I’m weirdly not good with keeping details in that note.

Seven years and lost!

Seven years ago, I had so much passion and hope in the future. Today, I’m here lost but not lost. Filled with numerous regrets and appreciations to God.

You’d see me looking dapper in pictures. You’d see me vibrating and sounding so intelligent with a microphone. You’d see me spending so much time and resources on the less privileged. You’d see me playing my favorite tabletennis game. You’d see me flanged with my friends. I miss my dad!  

My wings seem clipped. I’m uncertain of what the smartness of my head will give. Very uncertain