Lost but not lost

 If I told you that I’m depressed will you believe it?

So many uncertainties up here.

Scary that I’m investing funds in someone else and not myself. What if the someone changes? What if the someone turns her back on me?

Don’t they say, human investment is the best capital investment ever? Don’t they say no man is an island?

I am lost but not lost. I want home but I’m scared of returning home as a failure. 

I chose this path but this path isn’t treating me well.

I’m winning but losing.

I’m being celebrated but I’m losing. Hope lost but not lost. 

Away away from the love I want yet close to the love I cherish.

Lost but not lost.

Home 

Seven Years and lost

 My best friend advised me to keep a diary but I’m weirdly not good with keeping details in that note.

Seven years and lost!

Seven years ago, I had so much passion and hope in the future. Today, I’m here lost but not lost. Filled with numerous regrets and appreciations to God.

You’d see me looking dapper in pictures. You’d see me vibrating and sounding so intelligent with a microphone. You’d see me spending so much time and resources on the less privileged. You’d see me playing my favorite tabletennis game. You’d see me flanged with my friends. I miss my dad!  

My wings seem clipped. I’m uncertain of what the smartness of my head will give. Very uncertain 

FIVE YEARS AND I AM BACK

I was on phone with my best friend when I opened the calculator on my iphone to input two figures; my birth year and 2019; I AM FUCKING GETTING OLDER THAN I THOUGHT!

I spent the next few hours whining about how old I have gotten. Over dinner, I told mummy about my worries and she sure did calm my nerves with her wisdom.

So, yeah, the first thing I am doing in commemoration of my old age is picking up my lost hobby: Blogging!

Right here, I am going to be my normal random, spontaneous Titilope Tawakkaltu; Political, apolitical, weird, stupid, happy and of course crazy! 😆

Our new hub

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UNiLORIN ADMISSIONS

Information For 2013/2014 Post UTME
Applicants With Awaiting Results! This is to inform all prospective students of the
University Of Ilorin(UNILORIN), seeking admission
for the 2013/2014 academic session, still with
awaiting results, that the portal has been re-opened
for such persons to Upload their results.

UNIVERSITY of iLORIN : Truly Better by far!!!

Let's be factual nd realistic!!
If football were 2
be academic institutions in Nigeria.
ARSENAL=EKSU: where the students work
hard thru out the year bt fail to succeed.
MAN-CITY=
OOSU: where the students purchase all expensive
items nd live large bt are neva interested in their
primary assignment.
LIVERPOOL= OAU-IFE: where
the students are very much proud of the academic
achievements of their grandfathers.
MAN-
U = UNIBEN: where students dont perform well in
class except their final exams nd achieve gud
results.
CHELSEA = UNILAG: where students fail nd
put the blame on their VC, after which the govt will
intervene 2 find a new VC 4 d skul evry year.
REAL-
MADRID = AAUA where students think they perform
best and keep beefing the best students of other
skuls.
Finally, BARCA = UNILORIN: where students
work hard,perform well in class and achieve best
result in the whole country. Greatest Nigerian
Students!!!! Greatest UNILORITE!

ON MY DAY

New Clothes are needed

I have to dress my best

I should have utmost fun

I should visit places with my friends

Lots of gifts are expected

Music and jolly people should be around

Music, dance, foods and drinks should be available

I should filled with smiles throughout today

My friends and foes are meant to be here with me

These should be what every 4^th of August should be about

 

Unfortunately, it’s the direct opposite,

It all started in 2011,

Now I can’t even laugh on my day,

Yes I can’t dance, laugh, smile or even party!

Even when I am determined that things won’t be the same every year.

The memory of beloved grips my heart so hard,

That I get so moody, depressed sad and melancholic on my  own day

My world was built around him,

He placed my foot on the path

He taught me everything I know,

He was my friend,

He was my guide,

He was guard,

He was my “Adonie”.

  

The depth of the emptiness in me resurfaces and becomes obvious on my day,

That’s because, pictures of the events of Aug 4, 2011 Keeps playing on my mind.

But 2011, is a long town from now, Undisputed!

You think, I am been hyperbolic, No Problem!

But allow me to ask you this question,

Do you know what it entails for a person who doesn’t know how to swim

to be left in the middle of an ocean?

Now you know that Alhaji Y.M Anifowoshe was not just a father to me

He was my best friend

There is nothing hyperbolic here,

He has left a big ditch in my heart,

And I know that only Allah can fill this ditch

 

Sun re o Baba mi